Wednesday 4 November, 2009

Another angle to the Edwina-Nehru saga

Last week I read Pamela Mountbatten's interview and tried to map it to the generally-held view of the Jawahar-Edwina relationship. The general view is that it was an affair, kept under wraps, but plain for all to see including Edwina's husband. A film was almost made - and it may well be made in the future - about this torrid romance carried out in the heat and haze of Delhi.

Why would Pamela Mountbatten disagree with this version of truth and insist that it was not a sexual relationship but one brimming with love and friendship? For one, it may well be true. As in, really, really true. (Check this scene in Bend it Like Beckham, 2 mins into this youtube).

It is not a secret that there have been reports of Pandit Nehru having had gay leanings, at least while at school. Wolpert has written about it and many in India made a big deal out of it. Seen from that light, the Jawahar-Edwina relationship can be very well understood as that of a gay man and his fag-hag. It would have all the ingredients that Pamela has talked about - it would be intimate without being steamy, it would be deeply emotional, it would be physical as in hugs, and kisses and touches - but entirely without a tremor in the nether regions of either. It explains the equanimity of Lord Mountbatten, a handsome dasher if there ever was one, and an alpha male; casting an indulgent eye on the lady being frivolous with another good-looking man.

No one knows what the truth was. (Nor is it anybody's business, really. But it makes for interesting conjecture). I think it is sweet to imagine two grown-up people who are in love in the way that most people cannot imagine them to be, the fact that their friendship was 'more innocent' than what people thought it to be, and the fact that it probably suited the two (and the hubby) to let it be seen that way.

I wonder if a film will get made with this as the angle? To silence the critics who say it was sexual and to show how 'pure' the friendship was. How ironical would that be?

Am I the only one who thinks that this might be even more unpalatable to those who demand nothing less than perfection from our holy cows?

Sunday 27 September, 2009

Vasudhaiva Kutumbakam: Connecting with our world

I met Max in 2007. He was in Mumbai for a 6-month internship. He is from Rennes. I got to know him during this internship - we would lunch at the same place. He came back next year with a few more friends. This time as a 6 week vacation. For the last 1 year he is in Australia, completing his Masters (and travelling all over the continent). In between he spent a few months vacationing in Portugal and Spain.

Jan and Tomas are friends who were in Brisbane along with me - all of us were there for some university education. I came back to Mumbai after my MBA. Jan and Tomas took a flight to Hong-Kong from where they chug-chugged their way in some kind of a pan-China railway stopping at all the interesting places. This railway met the Trans-Siberian along the way and the two transferred on and crossed over to Europe. They even made a detour to Mongolia!! From Europe they apparently made a brief stop over in Amsterdam and from there they went to Nairobi. Among other things, they hired a team of 12 helpers and mounted an assault on Kilimanjaro - burra sahib-style. The recce team would go ahead and clear the way, set up the tent, make the meals and drinks, smoothen the pillows and the blanket; and wait for the intrepid duo to puff in. Jan sent me a pic of Jan 'Hillary' and Tomas 'Norgay' atop the snowy peak, fluttering flag and smudgy unwashed grins and all. They went back home to Norway, settled down into jobs and are busy raising families now. Of course, they go vacationing every year - almost always to new, unexplored places and people.

Last year I was on my way to NY in a Jet flight. I was cursing my luck that I had the middle seat in the middle at the tail-end of the plane. I was greeted by a grinning, wire-haired, skinny guy who had pierced ears (3 places), pierced eyebrow (left), and a tattoo on the right forearm. His was the right hand-seat. Name - Rafael, Rafa. Percussionist from Barcelona. Rafa was in India for 6 months. Spent time in temples listening to panch-vadyam, attended all the recitals he could in Delhi, Chennai and Mumbai; was thrilled to bits watching pung-cholam in Delhi (I think). He was eager to come back. He loved every minute. So was he going home now, after six months of breathtaking excitement? No sir! He was going only as far as Brussels. Then he would attend some seminars in Netherlands and Belgium before leaving for Yaoundé, Cameroun. He would spend a month or two travelling along the coast - Accra, Abidjan right up to Dakar, meeting people, learning about African percussion. Why Yaoundé? Well, he had a contact.

There is a custom in Europe, Anzac and in North America for young adults, just out of college, being encouraged by parents, by neighbours, by teachers, by strangers and by the State to go out and see the world. To experience freedom, to face difficulties, to overcome impossibilities and come back enriched and hopefully, wiser. Or maybe to just let off steam, soak in alcohol and cheap drugs and cheaper sex. Whatever!

We seem to have the opposite culture. Start the career immediately after college, work, don't fritter away any time, stay at home, be mamma's good, dutiful boy; go vacationing to 'native' or with the family. If one is bold, then go with friends to Goa and drink cheap beer, ogle at whores (but do nothing), do a surreptitious skinny-dip for all of three minutes, piss on the beach in moonlight and come home braver.

Paul Theroux talks about interacting with the gentle and helpful Vietnamese, and marvels at the absence of rancour against the Americans. How I wish we, the increasingly boorish, loud and pompous desi would go to Vietnam and learn a bit of humility. And there is no harm at all in starting young - right after college.

A generation or two of our youngsters travelling across the world would change the tone and even the substance of national debate. This present generation is far more mature and open minded than any in the past; and they are, I believe, free from many of the baggage older generations carry. With rising prosperity and expendable income (thanks to IT and BPO) perhaps the generation of intrepid Indian youngsters is not too far away!

Surge forth, children! The world is indeed our family. Go, meet them.

Thursday 17 September, 2009

India-bashing in Ozland

In the wake of the recent attack on the Singh family at the snooker club in the Melbourne suburb of Epping, I thought to check how the issue of racism is being seen in the Australian media and in the 'most popular' articles. Here are screenshots of all the major newspapers. The curious thing is that the bashing and the race-relations between Oz and India are nowhere in sight. The google news search shows that there are articles, but they seem to be tucked in the inside links somewhere.

Clearly, this is not something that the Australian media thinks is important. Maybe this has been drummed up enormously by the Indian media and the touchy, prickly, uber-sensitive student-diaspora in Australia. Farokh Dhondy's call to arms has made some news.

On the other hand, when I caught this headline in The Australian and this in SMH, I began to wonder if there is some meat to the vague suspicion I have that Australia is slowly disintegrating back into a racist society. Something that comes to it naturally, for Australia has been a deeply racist country till the 1970s. Notice how the word racist comes in inverted commas.

It is difficult to say for certain, but one thing that I have personally experienced in my 2 years at Brisbane, is that by and large Australians do not allow race-ridden thoughts to come to the surface of their interactions. Of course, there is a set of people who are openly racist (But then all societies have extreme fringes). However the point is, most people whom I met and became friends with, continued to be hesitant and strangely clumsy about making that unconditional connect that you make with a friend. Perhaps Australians are so used to the idea of White Australia, it is finally dawning upon most that it has changed and will continue to change rapidly, and that there is nothing that they can do about it. Maybe this is the last revolt against the inexorable march. Indians make an easy target; they are not as ghettoised as the Chinese or the Vietnamese, they are generally slighter in build unlike the Pacific islanders and Fijian-Indians (who, by the way, are far more aggressive and violent than Indians). Indonesians, Singaporeans and Malaysians simply stay out of the way and melt homewards at the slightest sign of trouble. But Indians are easier meat.

I'm afraid that the relationship between white Australians and Indians has soured beyond repair and it will take a generation to redeem it. The Symonds affair showed an ugly side of both our countries, the student bashings and robbings have got bad press, the worm of doubt has crept into the minds of fair-minded Australians and emotional Indians. This will get showcased in the cricket rivalry in all the series' to come.

It is only going to get worse.







Tuesday 15 September, 2009

Bangladesh: a new beginning. Or is it?

Relations generally improve when the Awamis are in power in Dhaka. So it was not a surprise to see Shiekh Hasina being welcomed by Delhi with much warmth. There have been equally warm and friendly overtures from Dhaka. The recent visit by Dipu Moni has trotted impressive columns in B'desh. Many commentators are positive about the goings on.


Shiekh Hasina's government has been more rigorous in rooting out insurgents from the hill tracts and have made the right kind of noises. No pronouncements have been made by anyone in the Hasina government which can be seen as 'belligerent' by Delhi. Likewise, SM Krishna has agreed to all the 'demands' made by Dr. Moni. So it seems all is hunky-dory.


The populace is much more cautious though! in fact, it is remarkable that today in Bangladesh, there is more support for Pakistan than for India. The dam on Tipaimukh has touched a sensitive spot in the collective psyche of our eastern neighbours. To be fair their experience of Farakka has been not too good - in fact it has been a disaster on most counts.

India has the chance to behave like a future regional power here. It can show some wisdom and be generous even. If it steamrolls Tipaimukh and causes another desertification in the lower riparian area then B'desh will be lost forever from our circle of influence. I hope we have the sense to be as sensitive to Bangladesh as we expect China to be for the dam that is proposed on Brahmaputra. We have been raising a hue and cry against the dam for pretty much the same reasons as Bangladesh's.

If we are seen as a reasonable and a caring big-brother then we will also be able to veer B'desh away from the Deobandi disease. This looking to the west, and to Arabia for its cultural roots is not more than 7 years old. Its still not widespread. One would like to think that the Bangladeshis will again remember that they are Bengalis first and shun this movement towards Deobandi islamization. What we in the subcontinent need is to rediscover our own links to Sufi and gangetic-islamism. For Bangladeshis it would mean rediscovering Baul and Lalon Fokir. We are after all, the product of what Saeed Naqvi calls, our ganga-jamni tehzeeb. And there are sane voices, as this article shows. But the problem is that not just the government and the bureaucracy, even us, the citizens of this country think of our neighbours with hostility, with derision and with contempt.

So let us make a start.

We in India need to start behaving like a great nation, and stop just expecting others to perceive us as one. We need to have a hard and critical look at ourselves first.

We need to start believing in our multi-culturalism, and not just tolerate it; we need to open our eyes to the parts of our country that we are unfamiliar with. Start there. And then look towards our neighbours with those opened eyes. Can those of us who are in the plains and in the stretch from Punjab to Kerala, for instance, put our hands on our hearts and say that we think - even remotely, briefly - just think of our fellow-citizens in the North-east? Do we think of 'them' as part of 'our' nation? Do we have the broadness and generosity to acknowledge that a person from Mizoram needs to be given the same treatment as a Tamilian, or a Maharashtrian gets?

For us to be a great nation and a responsible neighbour, we first need to set our house in order.

Friday 1 May, 2009

Resuming Talks

There seems to be a default assumption that talks should resume between India and Pakistan. What we hardly ever debate is this basic assumption. Why should talks resume? What is so pressing about talks that either Pakistan or India should take heed? Let us examine first the possible reasons why Pakistan might want to talk with us.
  1. Pakistan wants to discuss Kashmir. Specifically, it wants to discuss the ways in which it will be possible for India to give up territorial rights over the part of Jammu and Kashmir that we control. Assume for a moment that Pakistan really is interested in that part which is predominantly Muslim - so the Valley, really. What does India think of this? No way! So out it goes of the window. Unless Pakistan wants to pretend to demand, and India, pretend to listen.
  2. If giving up territorial rights to the Kashmir Valley is a no-go, then Pakistan wants to discuss ways in which India will allow Kashmir to be autonomous (much like Chechnya, Ingushetia, etc. We all know what happened there!). Again, what does India think? Mind your own business, Pakistan, it says. So, this one is out as well. Or the same humbug as above - pretend some more.

  3. Pakistan wants India to not dam Jhelum and Chenab and release more water than now. The 1960 Indus water treaty is seen as unfair in both countries for exactly the opposite reasons. Since 1960, India, because of it having the upper-riparian and upstream systems, has created dams along the main and the tributaries feeding into the rivers. It is now in complete control of the flows. This is alarming from a Pakistan point of view, and exactly how we want them to be, from an Indian point of view. Over the centuries, land and water have been the primary cause of wars. This has the potential of being the number one issue between us in the next 20 years. India will extract the maximum bargain from the waters and will no doubt, try to do the tightrope walk to ensure that it does not tip Pakistan over the edge and start a nuclear exchange. Strategically, Pakistan is poorly placed in this matter. The situation is getting worse still because India has reached out to Afghanistan and offered to dam the Kabul river. This will mean further loss of water, this time from the western border. It is desperate times ahead for Pakistan and it has very few levers left. If Pakistan's planners are wise, they would focus all their attention on this issue. Kashmir, while a popular refrain, is not as important. Yes, if the Kashmir valley goes over to Pakistan then it will have more say in the river systems, specially Indus. But India will never allow the Simla LoC to change. Hence it is not a gettable target for Pakistan. Which is why it makes so much sense for the planners and strategists in Pakistan to come up with an imaginative river sharing solution. War-mongering, aggression, complaining, none are going to work in the next, maybe 30 years to come. That is so because India will be the frontier nation along with China for most trade and wealth creation.

  4. Pakistan wants India to stop interfering in Baluchistan and Sindh. While this was not a concern for Pakistan for all these years, it will now become one. Simply put, India did not really have a foothold in either of those provinces. It had a espionage network that it dismantled in the 90's (thank you, Mr. IK Gujral!), and now, nothing. However, Afghanistan is turning out to be an interesting case. With US blessings, India is slowly getting to be a 'legit' player in the geo-politics of Afghanistan. India is sure to leverage this entry it has got by means of, 'rebuilding Afghanistan' (and a mere $1billion) and surround Pakistan. It won't be too long when India will work with Iran and further get a grip around Pakistan. Shia Iran is no supporter of a majorly Sunni Pakistan. Here too, Pakistan is poorly placed to get any leverage. Plus, both the military and the ISI have played their cards wrong - they have not been long-sighted and have learnt nothing from the past, especially the colonial past. Too much reliance has been placed on the fortuitous Russian faux-pas, and the consequent Taliban movement. It stands increasingly isolated now. China can't help even if it wants to; and China is already re-evaluating its options. It will not jeopardise the possible economic benefits of being friendly to India (albeit reluctantly) for siding with an ally like Pakistan. It will be too costly. China will, no doubt, continue to surround India and 'show her its place' at every given opportunity, however, it will also build economic bridges, or more specifically, mutual dependence on natural resources like oil and minerals.

What does India want to talk about?

  1. India wants Pakistan to stop supporting the Islamic terrorists and wants the state instruments like the military and the ISI to stop planning and conducting terror attacks across India. This is not going to happen as long as Pakistan exists as we know it today. In my earlier blog I have written why. In a single line: a united and secular India negates the need for Pakistan to exists as a separate nation.

  2. India wants Pakistan to give each other MFN status and build trading links. This may start happening now. The military establishment might object, as it always has. People getting closer will not fit into the stratagem of fostering hatred. It won't happen if the civilian government (when it is in a position to rule) makes Kashmir a precondition. There is nothing to discuss about Kashmir.

  3. India wants Pakistan to not veto its membership to OIC and not ask allies to veto us either. In short, India thinks that being the country with the second largest Muslim population makes her an automatic candidate for OIC. Considering countries like Togo make the list, its scandalous that India is not in the club. Of course, Pakistan will veto every time. If it does not, it undermines the notion of its existence.

  4. India wants Pakistan to shut its ISI operations in Nepal and Bangladesh. Not one of the three countries will oblige India. India has not been a responsible big brother and this is the price we have paid and will continue to pay.

So what do we have? A very, very limited list of essential items to discuss. How long should it have taken? 5 years? Maybe 10? But 50! Is it possible that the talks are a big hoax? Examine - apart for the UN tribunals that handed bits and pieces to the two countries, nothing substantial has ever been agreed and followed. The LoC has stayed, more or less, with seasonal incursions; but the water treaty has never worked, there is no provision for visitor visa for citizens of either country; there is no overarching trade agreement, there is no cultural exchange blue-print; students cannot study in each other's educational institutions. It is clear that ours is an unhealthy relationship. No positives can emerge from this morass.

For that to happen, we need to restart. With no assumptions. No baggage of the past. Only looking ahead. If this is simplistic, then it is. Why can we not try? After all, we are neither brothers nor neighbours. We are just enemies now. We have nothing more to lose.

Thursday 5 February, 2009

Obama and us

At one of the Balls, when Barack, in a fit of sartorial rhetoric said of Michelle, 'How beautiful is my wife?' I heard myself say, ' No dude, it's you who is beautiful; she is merely plain'. There is a touch of the vain peacock in the President, but it becomes him. The slender tall figure with long and nervous fingers - the head a gallant study in ebony from a Togo figurine - all looks too good to be true. And that is only a third of the story. For, when Obama speaks, the heart listens.

I cried when I saw tears in the eyes of black men and women gathered there. It is not only an American dream to see a minority, any minority, who have for centuries been the exploited and the unempowered, in a position of leadership, to have it in his hands to carve the destiny of the planet. It was an overwhelming feeling to be moved by an event that is not 'our own'. It is hard to explain but easy to understand what Barack Obama means to me, to us, to all of us.

I do not know what kind of President he will be and what will he unleash, unbidden. As of now, Obama has brought hope in the free world, he has forced people in India to look at askance of their leaders - can we hope for someone with his vision, his articulation, his empathy and erudition, even? That speech at Philadelphia's National Constitution Center after the pastor debacle, is it possible to imagine anyone in the current crop to make such a nuanced and complex argument for hope and unity? Some of the public cogitations (can't call them speeches, really), of Pandit Nehru had that quality. None, after him. I am hopeful of Omar Abdullah, but it is too early. How bare does our cupboard of 1.2 billion look! Let us not despair, for just as Obama rose out of nowhere, we too might see a miracle.

Well, all the best to Barack Obama. May he continue to be the beacon. May cynicism stay away from his person, may luck ride with him in all his endeavours. Amen!

Thursday 15 January, 2009

War Looms

Something does not add up.

The meekness of sending the dossier to 180-odd countries; so many of the barbs from the Pak-establishment being ignored, or dealt laconically; too many high-level meetings involving the Services Chiefs; sending 2 Sukhois for retrofitting; the Army not responding to the Pakistani troop movements and loud warmongering, the PM mumbling out exceptionally harsh statements; the US interlocutors of all shades seen too frequently in the neighbourhood; the ambhibious INS Jalashwa and INS Viraat both patrolling the west coast.

All this cannot be for 'putting more pressure' to Pakistan to 'comply' with its promises. The signals are muddled and work against each other. The studied underplay, the meekness of 'crying out for help' does not fit with the medium-term planning of Sukhois and warships.

Can it be that India is preparing for a limited strike at defined targets inside Pakistan and POK? The planning points towards it. The timing need not be defined by the elections - the first intuition might suggest that things will move into top gear before April. However, traditionally political parties have been united in the matters of defence - as witnessed during the 1998 testing - when all the preparation was done during the Congress government, but the testing happened under Vajpayee.

The logistics of the strikes will need at least 6 months - given the winter and the lead time required to unleash the covert links on the targets. Indian government's reaction to another attack on Indian targets would be an interesting indicator. If it is raucous then maybe there is no planned strike. If it is muted and wreathed in silence, then war is afoot.

Despite what the US may try to sell as an argument, if push comes to shove, India will not listen to US concerns about Pakistani troops shifting to the east, abandoning the war on Taliban and Osama. The argument would be, 'you take care of your interests, we will take care of ours'.

If indeed there is war, however limited, the reasoning should be reconstructible. Let's attempt it.

First big concern: will Pak press the nuclear trigger? No. The MAD scenario will not be invoked. The Pak nuclear buttons are now split and secured (under Musharraf's insistence) and while they are bunkered in the western region (nearer the Islamist armies), they are safe from being taken over. Islamist sympathiser top brass have been purged from the army and the ISI has never shown an appetite for full-blown nuclear war. Besides this, the US Navy is keeping a close watch on the bunkers from the Arabian Sea.

Well, then in the situation of a low nuclear risk, India might think thus: there is no way that Pakistan will ever be reconciled to being India-neutral, not after Bangladesh. Any peace movement will always have periods of controlled warfare, either through terrorist strikes or Kargil-like incursions. In short, it will never be like France and Germany. The only reason Pakistan can give for its existence is if it leads to the dismemberment of India. Else it does not need to exist. Thus Pakistan will always seek India's dismemberment. If that is so, can India afford it? No. Not if it wants to be part of the global leadership. Simply because the setbacks caused by Pak strikes would never give it the legitimacy of a leader and it will always be seen as an economic risk by investors.

Containment is not going to help because, as we have seen, even a limited, once in a year strike can swing the sentiment away. Besides, instability in Kashmir and North-east, Telangana and Naxal-zones will not be options anymore. They will need to go.

Sooner or later, India will need to undertake this job of relieving Pakistan of its army, the ISI and hence, of its islamists. This cannot be done only though warfare. It can be done and sustained through building institutions, civilian rule, shared civilian-army control on the nuclear button and economic revival. All are long term factors.

Making Pakistan smaller is an active thought with India - it has succeeded before and hence may think that it can do it again. Separating Sindh (or parts of Sindh) will mean a lesser sized territory to handle. Balochistan could be next. In other words, its the Punjabi army and ISI that is the enemy; it is that which needs to be defeated. These are again long and strategic activities - we can see them slowly unfurling over the next 15 years.

But why is India planning to strike now? It can only be one thing - a rehearsal. India wants to test the waters before unleashing the grand plan. The brief incursion of Indian fighter jets can be explained only if we assume that it was done to check the scramble-times and the counter-strike readiness of Pak jets.

By doing a quick strike, say on a Lashkar camp and on JuD HQ, India will know the extent to which Pakistan will engage them militarily. Under the current economic conditions the world will stop Pakistan from a revenge strike. India has the advantage of not carrying a begging bowl. Far from it - it may be the only economic oasis in the free world in 2009 and 2010.

If this is the way then we will see a sustained effort from India to keep the post 26/11 situation warm. It will remove embassy staff, gradually withdraw from trade, cut air-links, shut roads. India will do so based on the timetable of the planned strikes. All this will be to ensure that the 26/11 situation is not allowed to cool despite conciliatory gestures (and even actions) by Pak.

So all portends to a grim 2009.

28th Nov

The US offices are closed for Thanksgiving, hence not many mails. The presentation can wait. There is some attendance at work - maybe 30%? The canteen is on and I have already got my morning cuppa and idli. I was bewildered yesterday, and when I left work, a little sad. Today I am writhing in anger. And I want to spew venom here on this blog. Its an impotent attempt at doing something. The news coverage is annoying the hell out of me - everybody seems to be speaking loudly and with no coherence. I don't feel comforted. The PM said something in a weak, whiny voice that set my blood boiling. So I won't get into that.

I got an auto to come here and there are buses plying as well. When I entered, there were armed policemen in the van in front of the SEEPZ gate today. They looked just as lazy and unkempt as always. Who would trust them to save their lives? I won't. I would run; or maybe in a mad, blind run, choose to attack those who wish to harm me. I would be dead in the most likely scenario.

Back to the screen - there is smoke billowing out of the front of Taj now - must be some botched attempt at rescue, or maybe the chaps inside are lighting all the furnishings? I remember going up to the top-floor suite once to visit a rich American cousin. The room was tiny, the roof was low, the bed was huge, the doors were narrow, the bathroom was shiny but without any character. I remember the curtains were thick and ugly and had three layers. The upholstery everywhere was soft. So it must be an arsonist's delight, this Taj.

The three police honchos who died yesterday - I can see repeat pictures of them and can't help wondering - why the heck did three top guys need to go in the same jeep? I'm familiar with Karkare's name, and the little bit of the Malegaon thing; he seemed to be a smart guy, with his wits about him. I bet his last thoughts must have been, 'fuck, what a chutiya I am to die like this!' And did you look at his helmet? And his tiny, frayed flak-jacket? In fact, even as I write I can see more policemen in front of the Taj barricades; none are in flak-jackets, and two are bare-headed. Why do we have jokers to protect us? We in India are not that poor, surely?

More news pouring in - all are condemning the attack, rah rah, and we have a grim faced Pranab saying something that seems to be in English. But then I am illiterate in that version of the lingo. I am not interested in his bakwas. I'm curious at this stage to know what happened to the hundreds who were caught at CST. No update yet on that. Perhaps the crowd that was caught in the crossfire was not as glamorous as this crowd. Or maybe the killing ended too soon and there is nothing else to report from the 'scene'.

Its lunch. I'm hungry.

27th Nov

I am at work right now. I have logged on to the online IBN CNN news channel - the volume has been tuned down, and I keep checking on what's being shown every few minutes. I'm not really interested in finishing the presentation slide that I started yesterday. I don't care if the deadline is tonight. I'm caught in the scenes of unfolding terror, I can hear random bullets being fired and an occasional bang, maybe of a grenade? Is this Mumbai, my Mumbai, or is this West Bank, or Fallujah, or Chechnya, or Karanchi?

I stepped out a while back - and all is as usual here in Andheri East. A couple of police vans on the door, and maybe a lesser traffic, one can't be sure. The vada - pav guys is doing brisk business, the paal-wala has a line of three people, the new-vendor's stall is missing, but the nariyal-pani stall has a person eating the 'malaai'. I can see a small jam ahead of me near the Rolta building and there are idle pedestrians all over. No one seems to be in any hurry or in any concern of what is happening in deep south of the city. I don't feel any urgency either - it might be happening in another country, anywhere. This is puzzling.

I am back in my cabin, the news is just as before - more shots, more smoke, more screeching news from frenzied reporters. It seems I have entered a dark, mad world again. I am glued. The fear is returning, I can feel the heartbeat thumping against the rib-cage. I abandon all pretence of work.

It seems there is a gun-fight now at Nariman House as well. However on the screen I can see two stray dogs in front of the house and hardly any NSG guys - in fact none; just some slovenly policemen and a bearded gent in white. It seems there won't be any more cricket either. Once England wakes up we'll know for certain. Anyway it was a 5-0 bluewash. I am hungry and need sustenance.

Every now and then I can see the first pictures of the terrorists - a chap in a blue duffel bag, short and stocky carrying an automatic in his right hand, face with one streak of what seems blood. The picture has done something to the eyes - they seem to be glowing - like the obsessed girl in Exorcist. I feel uncomfortable looking at the picture. The platform is empty - they have killed everybody on it? The air conditioning is making me shiver. I want to go home now.